Kult: Divinity Lost - Downfall, Episode 1

[00:00:04] Speaker A: Hello friends, and welcome to another single serving tabletop adventure from Queen's court games. My name is Aaron, and tonight I'll be your game master as we pierce the illusion in M. Marshall's Downfall, a story of love, lust, greed, and entitlement from the screams and whispers collection for cult divinity lost. As always, you can find links to the scenario and assorted social media by typing exclamation point scenario and exclamation point cast, respectively. If you're joining us live on Twitch or in the show notes, if you're joining us later via YouTube or your favorite podcast app, tonight I'll be joined on this erotic journey of crossroads and moral choices by a delightfully talented group of performers, beginning with as girlfriend Kendall, she's our art aficionado, and with branding, bonafides VLoc. [00:00:48] Speaker B: Hi. [00:00:51] Speaker A: Next, as twin sister Aisha, QCG's resident social media guru, Laura Tutu. [00:00:57] Speaker C: Hello. Hello. [00:01:00] Speaker A: Also as classmate. Also as classmate Aidan. Returning to our table by way of Nat 20 Productions, PJ McGaugh. [00:01:07] Speaker D: Hey everyone. [00:01:09] Speaker A: And finally, a very special guest as Professor Francis. He's the founder of Sidekick Productions and a recent guest on the NBC series Poker Face. We are delighted to welcome Joshua Pangorn. [00:01:21] Speaker E: And I'm delighted to be here. [00:01:25] Speaker A: Before we begin, please note that cult divinity lost is an adult horror game and as such, this scenario may include topics that viewers find uncomfortable or objectionable. Blood and gore, body horror, drug and alcohol abuse, pornography, sexual content, self harm and torture. Please consult the full list of content warnings before continuing, either by using the chat command exclamation point safety or looking in the show notes. The cast and I have completed a thorough safety and consent questionnaire, discussed these and other topics in session zero, and agreed to hold ourselves accountable to a code of conduct that will ensure our table remains a safe and respectful environment for collaborative storytelling. But as one final check in, I will now ask v, are you in a mentally safe place to continue with this scenario, do you understand how to use our available safety tools and are you committed to maintaining a safe and respectful environment? [00:02:20] Speaker B: I am. [00:02:23] Speaker A: Laura, are you in a mentally safe place to continue with this scenario, do you understand how to use our available safety tools and are you committed to maintaining a safe and respectful environment? [00:02:32] Speaker C: Yes, I am. [00:02:34] Speaker A: PJ, are you in a mentally safe place to continue with this scenario? Do you understand how to use our available safety tools and are you committed to maintaining a safe and respectful environment? [00:02:44] Speaker D: Yes, I am. [00:02:45] Speaker A: And Josh, are you in a mentally safe place to continue with this scenario? Do you understand how to use our available safety tools. And are you committed to maintaining a safe and respectful environment? [00:02:55] Speaker E: Yes, I am. [00:02:57] Speaker A: Excellent. Then, with all of that said, with our audience waiting, let me tell you a story. Our story begins in a dingy common room buried just beneath street level, across the street from Washington Square park in New York City. This is Goddard Hall, a dormitory housing just over 201st year students for New York University. It's early afternoon on a late spring day, which means most of the aspiring scholars are either eagerly attending lectures in one of the various classroom buildings or eagerly avoiding lectures, using that time to explore the city that never sleeps. The room is empty. It is also cramped, low ceilings made even lower by white tiles and fluorescent lights suspended from the ceiling. The university has attempted to lighten the space by painting the walls a rosy pink pastel. Well, tried, anyway. The color is faded, years overdue for a fresh coat, not unlike the cheap catalog furniture used to fill up the space. A trio of stained, sagging couches provide a bare minimum amount of seating, all of it perched on chipped, scuffed linoleum. Four weeks ago, a talented young writer dreaming of calling this university his alma mater, who once scribbled plot and characters into moleskine notebooks on these very couches, disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Soon the room will play host to a quartet of missing souls eager to solve the mystery. First among them is the woman who sits now, waiting alone. She is perceptive, alluring, and down to earth. And she's Noah's twin sister. Aisha set the scene for us as you wait for the rest of the group to arrive. [00:04:51] Speaker C: I know I'm nervous. I know that much. It's been a rough couple of weeks, to say the least, not being able to make contact with Noah. When I do make contact, it is scattered at best. Dad consistently told me, don't worry about it. He's off doing his own thing. He's a big boy. He'll be fine. And I tried. I really did. At least until the nightmare started. So this group of people that's going to be meeting here are here at my behest. Because as far as I could tell, these folks were the last few people to see Noah, to see my brother, and the last few people who could potentially know where he is. So I am sitting and waiting. [00:06:01] Speaker D: And. [00:06:02] Speaker C: Twisting the rosary over and over in my hands and praying for an easy resolution. [00:06:19] Speaker A: It will be easiest for Professor Francis Wilmot to arrive on scene as the in residence professor for this residential learning community. He's sharp and outgoing and erudite, a creative writing professor whose students fight and fight and fight to be in his classes. And now he arrives in the room. Frances, how are you feeling as you reach for the door to open up the door to this common space? And what goes through your mind when you see the person you see? [00:06:55] Speaker E: I'm anxious before I even enter the room. I've been anxious since I realized Noah was missing. And I am consumed with needing to find him because he is my most talented student. He is the person that I see myself in, and he is the person that I think could do so much for the world with his writing. So probably the first thing that I see when I enter the room is I see Noah. I think for a second, because bear sitting there, is his twin. And then I realize it's his sister person that reached out to me and asked me to meet. And I'm disappointed. I'm not gonna pretend I'm not disappointed about that, but, um, I'm happy that this is happening, because this means that I could be one step closer to finding this student, this. This gifted student, and making sure that he's okay. [00:08:02] Speaker A: What is it that Aisha sees walking into the room? I'm sure she saw your picture on the university faculty page. But in person, it's a little different. [00:08:14] Speaker E: It's definitely a little different. Since Noah's been missing, I've been worried. I've been really worried. And I'm probably a little stubblier than I would be, uh, on my university page, at least. Uh. Uh, I mean, those were some fabulous headshots that I took. Uh, because when you're gonna be on NYU's university page, you need to look your best. But then, um, in real life, uh, the life of a writer, you don't have time to always look your best. And the moment I am looking, uh, very tired and very stressed and very worried. Uh, stubble, dark, circles under my eyes. Um, and my clothes are probably a little wrinkled. [00:09:03] Speaker A: Well, it's not illegal, insofar as I know to not resemble your headshots. Otherwise, all of Hollywood would be imprisoned. So I think you're safe for now. Ayesha, I suspect that Frances was the most eager, the most helpful when you reached out. The one who felt most genuinely committed to helping you find Noah. Is that refreshing? Are you suspicious? I suppose the question is, how excited are you to see Doctor Wilmot? [00:09:39] Speaker C: Well, the cops have been blowing me off, to be frank about it, but, um, not particularly surprised there. Having someone who seems genuinely as worried as I am is, in fact, refreshing. It gives me hope that at the very least, we'll have someone with some pull trying to make sure that we can figure out what happened and potentially bring Noah home. So I'd say I'm relieved to see the doctor. [00:10:20] Speaker A: Then I suppose a cheery introduction is in order. At least as cheery as one can be, given the circumstances. [00:10:29] Speaker C: I imagine I would stand up as soon as the professor walked in and smile as best I can. The movement sort of deepens the circles under my eyes. So in that professor, I'm fairly certain we are matching. But I will walk forward and extend my hand. Professor Wilmot. Aisha. [00:10:56] Speaker E: Adrisha. My hand. Of course. You look almost exactly like your brother, but I would expect that that's what. [00:11:04] Speaker C: What they say about twins. Um. Thank you for getting back to me so quickly. Um, and being so willing to meet. It's, um. You're one of the only people who seems to give a shit, so it means a lot. [00:11:22] Speaker E: I'm. I understand. When you are special, the world only cares what they can use you for. And when you're not there anymore, the world doesn't care about you. So I. I understand why no one else wants him to find him or cares about finding him. But I'm not like the rest of the world. [00:11:48] Speaker C: Oh, I can see that much. [00:11:56] Speaker E: Have you. Have you. How long have you been looking? [00:12:05] Speaker C: Um. [00:12:07] Speaker A: Noah disappeared about four weeks ago, I would say roughly two months ago. Something began to change. That's when his behavior in text messages became more clipped. That's when he blew you off more often, saying he was too busy writing. And then four weeks ago, the contact stopped entirely. You might have waited a few weeks before contacting the police, but young men go missing in New York all the time. Not often for sinister purpose. Sometimes they find a bohemian ideal in Brooklyn. They disappear for a foreign abroad study without telling anybody. Or the creatives, they would say with derision, whom romped and not are just locked up in their apartment typing or scribbling away at God knows what. Suffice it to say, New York City's finest believed they had more important things to worry about. [00:13:16] Speaker C: It's mostly the fact that he changed so much. And I understand that's part of the college experience. You grow and you become a new person. Sometimes a better person. But I. He's my fucking twin. I always figured we'd have at least that connection. Childish as it sounds. [00:13:48] Speaker E: Noah is gifted. Noah? Yeah. I mean, I don't know if you know how gifted your brother is. He is. He's a brilliant writer. He wasn't what you find as a strong writer, from the beginning, he had those inklings there. But he's brilliant and gifted. And I know he might have changed, but you have to believe that this change was actually. It's what's made him even more brilliant, if that makes any sense. I don't know. I'm. It's been frustrating. It's been stressful. I won't pretend it's not, Ben. [00:14:48] Speaker C: I mean, it. It could be any number of things, right? We're from a relatively small town. This is a lot, this city. Easy to get lost in. And I wouldn't blame him for wanting something new. But. [00:15:12] Speaker E: I. That's. Noah and I have so much in common. I mean, I'm from a town of 500 people. I understand what's like coming to this city when you're 18. And let me tell you, that was a very. It's an adjustment. It is. But Noah is strong. And Noah. Noah is okay. I know he is. I just. I just don't know where he is. And I. It's not. It's not a city that is loving, but it's a city that will. If you can survive it, you will be something to be remembered. [00:16:01] Speaker A: It's not always kind to be remembered, is it, Kendall? I imagine you standing outside of the dormitory on the street, smoking, what, your 2nd, 3rd, 4th cigarette in a row as you put off making the descent into the building. [00:16:18] Speaker B: I stopped counting after a while. It's one of those things that if you pay too much attention to it, it just kind of makes you feel some kind of way. And I'm not interested in feeling that kind of way right now. [00:16:37] Speaker A: I know everyone walking past you in the city, and there are countless dozens, hundreds, not only university students, but you're square in the middle of Greenwich village. People abound. And every single one of them walking past you without even considering the outfit. That in your eyes, they can see that you're not someone to be trifled with. That wasn't always the case. There's something different about you now. I know what it is, and you know what it is. But that prompts the question, why are you even here? [00:17:18] Speaker B: Because of Aisha. Look, I never thought when he disappeared that I would. I don't. I'm trying to think of the best way to phrase this. I. You know, um. I think. I think the best way to put it for now is that I thought that there were some things that would just have to remain unfulfilled. And now that Aisha's here, I. I mean, it's like a second chance. [00:18:03] Speaker A: For better or for worse. Doctor Wilmot. Aisha, you've barely finished your introductions. When Kendall comes to the door. [00:18:21] Speaker C: Kendall. [00:18:28] Speaker B: Aisha. Um, that doesn't feel good. [00:18:36] Speaker A: Now, why does? I mean, you know why. They look so similar. But why do they look so similar? You can see her nose, and you felt that nose in the crook of your neck, and you can see those lips, and you felt them on every part of your body. It's in her hands, even in mannerisms. The way that twins grow up. You've seen Noah make that same idle gesture with his hands, at least before he put them to more sinister purpose. Kendall, I'm going to need you to roll your disadvantage for me. [00:19:14] Speaker B: That makes sense. That is ten. [00:19:27] Speaker A: Well, ten is not so bad. [00:19:30] Speaker B: Hmm. [00:19:33] Speaker A: You don't break down. You can hold it together. But I am going to take one hold. Something that I can use when I want to make a move. For the worst, to your credit, no one's going to be able to tell at first that anything's wrong. It might be just the way that you hesitated to answer, the way your posture tightens up just a little bit. I don't know that Aisha is in a mental place to be watching for that kind of thing. But, Doctor Wilmot, why don't you observe the situation and see if you can tell what's wrong? [00:20:23] Speaker E: 17. [00:20:26] Speaker A: Of course you can. It's been 510 years now that you've spent watching students come in and out of your classroom. You have a doctorate in writing, and at this point, you could probably also get one. And figuring out what's going on with people Kendall's age. You've seen that reaction before, but not this intense. There's a discomfort when two exes come in after a weekend and you know they've been dating. And then the Monday class rolls around and they're trying to make it look like things are fine, but they're not fine. You can see that. But on top of that heartache, which lingers in an aura around Kendall, there is malice. It's a shattered heart wrapped in barbed wire. You don't know entirely what's going on, but something here doesn't feel right. And you wouldn't be out of line wondering if Kendall was up to no good. [00:21:35] Speaker E: Kendall, I assume. Um, I've seen your photo. Noah shown it to me. I'm Professor Francis Wilmot, Noah's writing instructor. It's wonderful to meet you finally in person. [00:21:48] Speaker B: Right? Oh, yeah, of course. Of course. Professor Wilmot. Sorry, I didn't immediately put two and two together. No. Noah talked a lot about you. Loved. Loved your class a lot, and got really, really into writing. So I assume that's your doing. [00:22:10] Speaker E: Guilty. He's talked about you, too. It's really just lovely to put a name to the face and the face to the name. You know how it goes. I'm glad that you can be here today. And I'm glad that we're all here to get today, actually. [00:22:34] Speaker B: Yeah, I. You know, when. When Aisha reached out, I, um. I. You know, I hadn't. I hadn't heard from her in forever. So, you know, knowing that she was coming to town, I, of course, had to offer a place to stay. I mean, it's. You know, it's a couch, but it's better than paying for a hotel in the city. Am I right? [00:22:56] Speaker E: Absolutely. [00:22:57] Speaker A: Yeah. Does the conversation die there? No one knows quite what to say. [00:23:11] Speaker E: I'm usually pretty good at small talk, but even I'm a little awkward at the moment because it's the lack of sleep, probably, and the stress. I want to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome in what is essentially the greater extension of my home. But I'm also. I'm also just very, very tired and stressed. [00:23:44] Speaker A: And also, there's no reason to start the meeting proper before everyone has arrived. Aidan, I suspect you're late because you don't care terribly much to be on time. [00:24:00] Speaker D: I mean, if this was important, they could text me, email me. Hell, they could even facebook me if they really gave a shit. This is New York City. This place doesn't stop or sleep for nothing to no one. The foot traffic alone is enough to make me 15 minutes late. I don't even care what time I get started at. I get there when I get there. But if you want me there, yeah, I'll be there 100%. Just getting a. You know, just give me a heads up and I'll be there. Of course. [00:24:30] Speaker A: I suspect it's not Aiden who sees the three of you first, but you him. Because even as he approaches the door, his face is not buried in. But obviously paying attention to his phone. There's no way it's not the most recent model, top of the line stuff, $1,500 phone. And when the next one comes out in six months, he'll have that one, too. This sociable smooth talker knows everybody worth knowing on campus and can open every door to every party. What happens next? [00:25:09] Speaker D: As I enter the lobby area, I can feel the presence in this room. It's enough to make me stop what I'm doing on my phone, look up and take notice of the new bodies in front of me and just kind of slowly freeze in place. Oh my God. You look amazing. You look just like him. Hi, I'm Aiden. Nice to meet you. I believe you're his sister. Because if you were anyone else, that would be impossible. [00:25:48] Speaker C: Yeah. Yeah. Aisha, we're twins. It's kind of how that works. Aiden, right? [00:26:03] Speaker A: Yep. [00:26:05] Speaker B: Unfortunately. [00:26:07] Speaker D: Oh, and there's the ex girlfriend. [00:26:10] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:14] Speaker D: Anyway, I imagine we're here about our friend Noah. First of all, Aisha, I don't know where he is. And, uh, my deepest condolences. You deserve so much better than that. If I had it, I'd give it. Um, and I just wanted to take a second to say I'm sorry. And if there's anything I can do to help, I'll be so happy to give it to you. [00:26:43] Speaker C: Well, that's why you're here. You're one of the last people to see Noah. So, um. [00:26:49] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:26:51] Speaker D: Well, yeah, I guess we should get down to business as the old song goes, huh? Alright, so, um, I. [00:27:04] Speaker A: What. [00:27:04] Speaker D: What is your timeline? I don't know what I can give you, but I want to give you my full, undivided attention right now. [00:27:19] Speaker B: The. [00:27:21] Speaker C: Last I heard you, you were taking Noah around the party circuit. [00:27:31] Speaker D: Yeah, I mean, that's one way to put it. It's kind of an oversimplification, but yeah, for lack of a better word. I was introducing him to new things, helping him grow. [00:27:43] Speaker A: Kendall knows all about that. Some of the things you introduced to Noah, he introduced to her. [00:27:52] Speaker B: Yeah. Helping him grow as a. As a person, as a man. [00:28:01] Speaker D: Oh, I wouldn't put it so simply as gender. Come on, it's 2023. I think we're beyond that right now. [00:28:08] Speaker A: Right? [00:28:08] Speaker D: I think we're all collectively a little tired of that. It's not about manhood. It's about an individual learning what their needs truly are at a point in their life where change is supposed to happen. And some people are supposed to get left behind. That's what a metamorphosis does. You get wings, you leave the cocoon. Sometimes people, they can't fly, they can't catch up. And that's fine, because one day they will fly like birds. It's gonna be great. [00:28:41] Speaker B: You really think this is a question about metamorphosis, Aiden? [00:28:46] Speaker D: That's what I think. I mean, I was there for half of it, at least. Looked like a metamorphosis to me. [00:28:52] Speaker B: Yeah, and you weren't there for the other half. The other half I got to experience. So thanks so much for that. [00:29:01] Speaker D: Well, first of all, if Noah did anything that made you feel unsafe or unkind, it's not my place to apologize for him. But I will. I'm sorry. That's between you two. It's not my business. But that's not why we're really here, though, right? I think we're here to help Aisha find her twin brother. So maybe we should just kind of skirt around that problem right now and help someone who actually needs it closer. [00:29:29] Speaker A: Wilmot, you've also had Aiden in your classes. Don't remember him being this talkative. What has your impression to this point been of Noah's classmate and friend? [00:29:41] Speaker E: Um, I mean, I'm sitting here listening to what's coming out of his mouth, and I can't help but imagine that his writing would be so much better if he applied any of that creativity to it. It is an amazing amount of B's that's coming out of him right now, though. Aiden was the classic student who was taking his class for the credit that he needed, but not because he wanted to be there. And it makes. It's so much harder on all the people who want to be in that room. When you have someone like Aiden, there's. And that's probably why I am extremely disappointed that he is one of the three people that are here to help Aisha find her brother. But what can be done about that except deal with it? And he's not wrong. You grow a lot in this city. I certainly did so. [00:30:44] Speaker A: And, Ayesha, now, having your team as it is assembled, how are you feeling about the task laid out in front of you? Is this a moment that inspires confidence? Hearing the drivel coming out of Aidan's mouth, seeing the hostility on every single word from Kendall's lips? [00:31:14] Speaker C: You get used to disappointment like that. Yeah. I went through all the legal channels. I know that you're supposed to talk to the cops and file a missing persons report, but in a city like this, when you look the way Aidan does, they're less likely to give a shit than they would. And I know that. And I still did what I was supposed to do. Because you follow the rules and get what you need. Isn't that how it's supposed to work? No. No, I've got douchebag supreme here. [00:31:56] Speaker A: Aiden, I think that's you. [00:32:01] Speaker C: I mean, at least the professor, like, actually sees my brother as a person. Kendall, I don't. She's more interested about soothing her own wounded feelings. I don't even know why I bothered. This is what I've got. This is what I'm gonna fucking work with. [00:32:33] Speaker A: I guess bother you did. And bother you must, because no one else is going to do it. And unfortunately, you weren't here. You can't do it alone. The fact that these three people are the last ones that Noah associated with might say more about your brother than you want to know. Maybe he did change in New York City. Maybe in ways that you wish weren't the case. But we all have to play the hand we're dealt, don't we? We all have responsibilities. We all have private desires. You're all here for a reason. Of course. It's to find Noah, right? Right. [00:33:21] Speaker C: I know I am. [00:33:25] Speaker B: Yeah, of course. [00:33:28] Speaker D: I mean, let's be honest, Dwight. Strike you as the kind of guy that would go somewhere and do something if I wasn't invested in it? Probably not. I wouldn't waste my time like that. Neither should you. We're here because we want to be here. Bottom line. [00:33:46] Speaker A: Well, I'm eager to find out why. Well, unfortunately, here are the facts as followed. You all essentially know what Aisha knows. Noah started to change about eight weeks ago. Now, Aiden, you were already watching him start to get into that libertine. Freedom, learning what feels good, even if it feels bad. Branching out. Think you'd called it a creative christening. How can you write about emotions you haven't experienced? I believe that was the lead in you used. And Noah leapt at the opportunity. Timid at first, of course. Not the first time you've had to take a newbie into the room and teach them how to have confidence. How to offer a woman a drink, how to offer a man a drink. And then it started to get a little bit out of your control. In hindsight, maybe worrying at the time, a promising indication of the future that he was leading himself towards Aisha. That's when the text messages started to become less frequent. That's when the messages were shorter, clipped, lacking the warmth that your twin had always shown to you. Professor Wilmot. Those were the first days that Noah ever missed a class, followed by the first time that Noah had ever missed a deadline. What he did hand in to you was no longer clear. Cleanly typed, or put forward in a word document, was scribbled into notebooks, sometimes stained. Tears, sweat, smudges of something. And, Kendall, that's when the man who had your heart, who you knew would be yours forever, sharing together the pair of muses, creating, living, and loving one another. That's when he began to change. Four weeks ago was when you stopped seeing him entirely. That was the breakup, precipitated, of course, by something immediately prior, but a breakup nevertheless. That's when he stopped responding to the professor's emails, to Aidan's text messages, to Aisha's frantic phone calls. And no matter how many harried voicemails you left, no matter how many Facebook group messages you extended, no matter how many times you picked up the phone to dial and put it back down, Noah did not respond. Two weeks ago, he dropped out of Professor Wilmot's class entirely, handing in the final assignment well before the last deadline and disappearing. He didn't even have the dignity to do it in person, just leaving it in your mailbox with a note. It was one week ago that Aisha reached out to you all via email. Now we're here. Now each of you has one small piece of the puzzle that will begin to unlock the story that will begin to tell us what has befallen our friend. So all of that then is interrupted by a knock at the door. Professor Wilmot, you will recognize the soul standing on the other side. Not your favorite student, obviously. No one can compare to Noah, but someone you trust enough to assist in your teaching and grading duties. Tell me who this teaching assistant is who has arrived on scene holding a manila envelope. [00:37:25] Speaker E: My teaching assistant is Jacob Stone. Jacob is very gifted at data and facts, and that's what makes him such a great teaching assistant. It's also what makes him an okay writer. He is a historical fiction author. He loves to write about romance during the historical fiction periods. Huge fan of shows like Outlander and Game of Thrones and all that, but without the. Well, well, I haven't seen Outlander, of course, but with Game of Thrones, without the nuance and the actual creativity that's in that show, that's sort of what you get with Jacob's writing. You get fact and little else, and that seems to be what makes him really popular with most of the other members of the staff. For me, I like that he can do what I need him to do and report as I need to report. And that's about all that I really need from him. Him. And he's friendly enough, so it's a. [00:38:24] Speaker A: Perfectly reasonable academic exchange. A professional who gets things done on time, that's what you get. And then when he goes on into the future, you will be able. He'll be able to say, oh, I was. I studied under the great Francis Wilmot. And you will each received something in exchange. [00:38:41] Speaker E: That's all you really need from this sort of relationship. Really? [00:38:44] Speaker A: Mm hmm. So I'm imagining someone with a shock of curly reddish hair, a bit high on top of the head, wearing a very high collared shirt, not a Mandarin collar, but also not a formal collar. The kind of thing you might go jogging in in the city. Right? [00:39:08] Speaker E: Yeah. Also, he usually has his trademark scarf. He was a huge fan of doctor who, so he had this very. I heard this all during his interview with me. It was very exhausting, actually. But he talked about his love of dressing like his favorite characters, and in this case, he usually has a trademark long scarf, so. [00:39:28] Speaker A: Which, no doubt he has mastered the art of flipping dramatically when he needs attention. [00:39:34] Speaker E: You have no idea when he leaves the room, it is. Well, it makes me happy when he leaves, mostly because he's gone, but he also is just. He's very good at capturing the attention of the other members of the class when he's walking about. [00:39:53] Speaker A: Well, in this case, he has ensorceled another room inside the Manila envelope. Doctor Wilmot, you know what's inside? Noah's last assignment that he presented was in no shape to be created. Handwritten, stained, not even the same pages. Some of it on legal pad paper, some of it just on printer paper. They pulled out of something. And you instructed Mister stone here to type it up appropriately and then deliver it to you. And so he has, looking very much like a dog. That's done a very good thing. And I brought you the toy, sir. And can I have a head pat, please? Just tell me how great I am right here. I've done this exactly for you, sir. [00:40:34] Speaker E: I'll take it from him. And thanks, Jacob. You may go. [00:40:37] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, of course. Doctor Belmont, is there anything else that I can get for you? I mean, you're gonna be down here a while. I'll go grab a coffee or something, or. [00:40:43] Speaker E: Coffee. Ayesha, would you like some coffee? Kendall, Aiden, would you like anything? [00:40:50] Speaker B: Coffee, black, two sugars. [00:40:53] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, yeah, black, two sugars. He's pulling a pen out from one of his pockets and starts writing on his hand. [00:41:00] Speaker C: Um, just a flat white, please. [00:41:04] Speaker A: Mm hmm. [00:41:06] Speaker D: No, I'm fine. Get yourself something, Jacob, please. [00:41:09] Speaker E: I'm good. [00:41:10] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, sure. Thanks. And then the usual for your professor? [00:41:13] Speaker E: The usual. Thank you. Yes. [00:41:15] Speaker A: All right. [00:41:15] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:41:15] Speaker A: I'll be right back. And I mean, Kendall, you have been a people pleaser. You have never seen anything like this. Aiden, you've seen lots of people like this, and it sickens you. Aisha, I don't think they make people like this where you're from. But all the same, the focus is not, for now, on mister Stone, but on the manila envelope. I suppose you have to open it, right? [00:41:52] Speaker E: I'm really excited and nervous, and it takes me back to that. That one assignment he did. That world building assignment where he crafted the most incredible vision I had ever read before. And look, I am all about creative flow and all that, but I'm just hoping that what was on that garbage of a notebook is actually just as magical now that it's been typed up. So I'm savoring for a moment that I might have some. Something truly special in my hands. And then I realize that everyone's probably watching me. And then I open the envelope and take out the manuscript. [00:42:44] Speaker A: Are you attempting to justify this? I don't know that most people in the room would leap to. Maybe he's written his whereabouts in his last assignment. Or are you ignoring that and letting your own selfish desires guide you to the page? [00:42:58] Speaker E: I think for a moment I've purely forgotten that he's missing. Because he's not missing that at the moment, he's in my hands. And I am going to get some greater insight into who he is as soon as I can read this. [00:43:18] Speaker A: Well, then I suppose the rest of you can make whatever conclusions you'd like. As it begins, I can say that once your eyes grace the first few words, it's going to be difficult for you to pull them away, for reasons that I think will become apparent and I assure you, will discuss. It begins. A drop of sweat rolls down the side of my face as my muscles cry in unison, stretched to their limits on an x shaped cross. In the distance, two dying suns stare back at me like a pair of bloodshot eyes watching over a world bathed in red sulfuric clouds march across the writhing sky, dusted with a myriad of razor sharp sparks that ignite and die. In a moment, a monolithic structure rises on the horizon, scarred with glowing yellow incisions that cut into its sides, much like the wires cut into my flesh. The sun orbs appeared to shut, overcast by thick black fumes ascending from a decrepit city that had collapsed within itself. Suddenly, I become aware of another presence. A female shape materializes before me, exhaled from between the slits and the cracked earth. Slender legs walk towards me, and as I follow their motion, the curves of her hips take a tentative form, wavering on the edge of existence. A shiver rundowns my tense spine, and I hear my bones click in morbid harmony. Her form becomes more defined, and I feel something stir within me. A pair of full breasts, like falling teardrops, rest gently on her chest, creating a triangle with the hollow between her collarbones. My limbs grow weaker while a familiar heat begins to burn in my loins, lacing the pain in my wrists and ankles with a tinge of satisfaction. I watch her features adjust, her cheekbones slide back and up, making her face slender and slightly angular. Her lips swell and fill with color while her nose narrows down and arches so the tip perks up. Black hair grows out of the apex of her skull, cascading down past her shoulder blades. For the first time, she looks at me, her eyes like the sun's in the sky. The woman of my dreams. As those words are washing over you, that you feel the very atmosphere begin to change. The room is a little too warm in the way that New York City rooms can be, heating systems that are centuries old even in the height of summer, barfing out just a little bit too much energy. But that's not why you're sweating as you read this text, and the breeze that blows past your cheeks flush against your will in a way that everybody can see is not from the air conditioning or from an open door. You can feel the weight of it, heavy, dusty, like humid Los Angeles, when you can feel all that urban particulate matter suspended in the air and those heavy droplets begging to become rain. And as Noah describes each of those individual feelings, there's something that zips from the base of your spine up into your chest, and then down your arms or down past your groin into your ankles, to the point where, when you read that last sentence and you realize that you're holding the text almost directly out in front of you, you're surprised that your own wrists aren't bleeding. I need your roll to keep it together for me. Sometimes when we make connections with people or things, it's not for the best. Certainly in a room, certainly in a world that is trapped inside an illusion, you're left feeling like part of the story. Deep down inside, you know that this isn't strictly fiction, that this experience belongs to Noah, either ephemerally a creation of his dreams or impossibly, something he actually experienced. But the words come off the text and entangle themselves with your own thoughts, your own emotions. It becomes difficult for a moment to feel where Noah and the text stop and Frances Wilmot begins. You'll lose one stability as your brain goes to piece those things together, trying to carve out a niche of normalcy that is entirely its own. Even as this shimmering veil around begins to waver and the rest of you in the room can see what is plainly more than a man awash in brilliant literature. When Professor Wilmot emerges on the back end of this text, there is something different about him. Professor. [00:49:41] Speaker B: Everything okay? [00:49:44] Speaker E: Uh, it's. It's Noah's last piece that he wrote for, for me. It's. It makes me. Yes, yes, of course. I am. I am just captivated by his writing. It's, it's. It's a beautiful piece. [00:50:18] Speaker A: Captivated is a word for it. Aiden, what is your bonus to perception? [00:50:25] Speaker D: My bonus to perception is a negative two. [00:50:30] Speaker A: You're on the safe side, Kendall. Yours plus one, and Ayesha plus three. Well, this is a good news and bad news situation. Kendall and Aidan, you'll be safe. Aisha, you're going to have to decide whether or not you're going to acknowledge the professor's erection. Probably around the same time that the professor realizes. [00:51:10] Speaker E: I look around quickly to where is Jacob with that coffee. [00:51:18] Speaker A: No doubt. Now, holding the text a little lower in your lap just to maybe deflect a glare. [00:51:31] Speaker C: It would be impolite to point that out in public. [00:51:40] Speaker A: I don't suppose you've ever read your brother's more recent work, but it seems unlikely that the words are powerful enough alone to create this kind of reaction. Although I'm assuming also, Professor Wilmot, that you did not read the text out loud. [00:51:58] Speaker E: No, never. I need to savor it myself first before sharing it with anyone else. [00:52:08] Speaker A: Based on the professor's reaction. Is anyone else eager to see the text? [00:52:14] Speaker C: I'm not. But it's one of the last things my brother put onto this world. So. [00:52:26] Speaker B: I've seen pretty much everything that Noah's ever written from, you know, those happy love letters from when we were in high school up till, like, short stories and everything. So it was, it was noticeable when it started to change. And I think seeing it, there's, there's some value in it. If nothing else, it would give us insight to how he was doing right before he disappeared. [00:53:00] Speaker A: That's possible. I think first you might have to pry it from the professor's cold, dead hands. This is yours. This is Noah's. This is your Noah's. It is as close as you will ever be to him again in all the ways that he inspired you and changed you. It's these pages. If you don't find him, this is the last you will ever be able to feel of that genius. [00:53:27] Speaker E: And that makes me more anxious than ever. To find him. Because if this is the last piece, that's not. It's not fair. It's not fair to the world. It's not fair to me not to be able to see what else is. See what else is in his mind and read what else is in his mind. He has a way of. He has a way of touching you that just no one else has ever really done to me before to any of the people that he. Who's read, who have read his work. I am not likely to share this with them physically, but I'll be happy to read it to them. [00:54:16] Speaker A: It might be then when you've had this conversation, you clear your throat and the door creaks, a familiar scarf billowing. There's not even wind. How does he do it? As Jake returns to the room. Yeah. So that's a flat white for you? Yeah. And then black with two sugars. Uh huh. And then I'm a professor. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Like, I asked them, I told them that only oat milk is fine, but they're out of oat milk and they did soy. Is that gonna be a problem? Because, like, I'll go back, I'll make another trip, and I'll find something else if you need me to. [00:54:59] Speaker E: I just take it from him and don't say a word. [00:55:06] Speaker A: Imagine how it must feel for him to be crushed like that. He doesn't know what happened. All he feels is the dejection and disappointment. [00:55:18] Speaker E: I. Jacob, I appreciate all that you've done for us today. [00:55:28] Speaker A: Anytime, professor. Yeah. Thank you. You have my phone number, so if you need anything else, you just text me. I'm done with no sweet assignment. You know, I'm still waiting on you to read. Of course. Give me the feedback. So I have nothing but time today if you need more help from me. [00:55:42] Speaker E: Wonderful. Aisha, Kendall, Aiden, do we have anything else we need from Jacob today? Anything he can get for you at all? [00:55:53] Speaker D: Hey, Jacob. [00:55:54] Speaker A: Jake, did you. [00:55:55] Speaker D: What did you get for yourself, my man? What'd you get for Jake? [00:55:59] Speaker A: Oh, I just had an everything bagel, but I ate it on the way here. Cause I'm so busy. And you guys eat on the go, right? That's why New York. All the food is something you can eat with your hands. Cause everyone's just going, going. [00:56:11] Speaker D: I'm glad I could give you that gift. I'm glad you could eat it on the way here. [00:56:16] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much, Aidan. I'll see you in class later this week. Yeah. [00:56:24] Speaker D: Yeah, probably who knows? I'll see you when I see you. [00:56:28] Speaker A: Yeah, sure. He slinks off the way a dog might after being caught tearing a toy open. [00:56:38] Speaker E: He means well, everyone. Yes. [00:56:45] Speaker A: Well, we can linger on the transcript of this text, but for those of you eager to change the tone of conversation, there are other things of Noah's that remain to be uncovered. [00:57:05] Speaker C: Um, Kendall, you, uh, I know we talked before I got to the city. You, you said you could potentially find something before I got here. Did, did that work out at all? [00:57:24] Speaker B: Kind of. Um, so all I know is that he stopped paying for his dorm room, and all of his stuff was taken. Like, they came in and they just removed everything that wasn't bolted down. But they didn't get rid of it. It's just currently stored in the dorm rooms, lost and found. And I can't access it because I'm not a family member. But you can because, sister. [00:58:01] Speaker C: Thank God for small miracles. [00:58:04] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. So if we, if we go to the lost and found, hopefully we can get access to his stuff. And maybe there's some more stuff in there that'll kind of point us in the direction of where he was. And I'll glance at Professor Wilmot. Maybe there's some more writing that he was working on. Who knows? [00:58:29] Speaker E: I can take us all to the lost and found right now. I mean, that's probably the best place to start. Then. [00:58:38] Speaker C: Please, professor, if you wouldn't mind. [00:58:46] Speaker E: I put the manuscript back in the Manila envelope, and I start to gesture for everyone to follow me. [00:58:59] Speaker A: It's not too far a walk. New York University has its residential headquarters at Lipton hall, which is just caddy corner from Goddard hall. So you'll walk to the corner of Washington Square park, wait for a light to change, quickly repeat the process, and then proceed into the next lobby. Every single dorm has a uniformed security guard at the desk. It is, after all, New York City. You have to badge your way into the door and then present identification to the guard. Yes, she recognizes you, but, yes, there are rules. Now, Aidan, you've been in this dorm room before. Well, not this dorm room. This dorm complex. I'm certain you've been in many of these dorm rooms, as it were. I don't think you remember when they hired this guard, because reach into your brain for a moment. When I say campus security guard manning the front desk of a dormitory, describe who comes to mind. [01:00:06] Speaker D: Normally, the first thing that I scope out is 30, 45 year old. Maybe at one point wanted to be a cop or got out of the army or just had a general sense of bland authoritarianism matching their nice beer and donut gut and bad back and bad knees. Someone who wears a uniform but doesn't really have any authority, but they're definitely happy to extend it. Usually male balding, always want to chat, but nothing good to say. That's kind of what I normally see. [01:00:43] Speaker A: And then, apropos of nothing, would you consider yourself more an ass man or a tits man? [01:00:48] Speaker D: Hmm. Well, really, for me, Noah's the total package, including the face, because, you know, I think just kind of stripping them down to bare parts, like a frame. Frankenstein's monster is disrespectful and also lazy, so. [01:01:04] Speaker A: But assuming, of course, a holistic process that considers all parts of the person. What would catch your attention first? [01:01:15] Speaker D: If I had to break it down systematically in this order. Eyes, nose, lips, breasts, tummy, thighs, ass, and, of course, shoes, because that speaks a lot to what a person is capable of. But those eyes definitely grab me how right you are. [01:01:34] Speaker A: In fact, it's going to be difficult for you to examine the rest of the package. The way those grayish blue, like glaciers, like smoked glass, look up and make eye contact with you. And this woman is five 9510, 140 pounds, sleek, and one bit of her perfect heart shaped mouth curls up as she sees you. Her head kind of dipping a little bit. I don't. You've never seen her before? And last you remembered, the uniforms weren't cutting so low. At the very least, she could stand to be wearing a slightly larger size, the way that it clings to her chest. [01:02:33] Speaker D: I, uh. Stop whatever it is I'm doing quickly on the apps and lean back to everyone else. Professor Wilmot. Wilmot. My apologies. Do we need this security guard to gain access to Noah's things, or is this just a formality? [01:03:02] Speaker A: They would have the key to the lost and found, but it's the kind of thing you could ask for. And you're Francis Wilmot. Everyone knows who you are. [01:03:11] Speaker E: Yeah, I don't really. I mean, we'll just ask her for the key, and I can get it. That's all we really need. She has the key. Of course. [01:03:20] Speaker D: But you do make a really good point. You say we, and I think that we have a really good team here, but I don't think I'm gonna leave much use in there. I think there's enough cooks in the kitchen. I actually have a lead I need to check in on. Um, why don't you all go in there? I'll stay out here for a bit, and we'll reconvene later. Go team. [01:03:47] Speaker A: It's a perfectly reasonable plan under most circumstances. I would say that Aiden's not being especially transparent, although it doesn't make sense to the rest of you why he would want to be so enthusiastically alone with the schlubby 55 year old woman sitting behind the desk. [01:04:08] Speaker B: I mean, I guess dudes gotta get his dick wet somehow. Maybe it's been a while. [01:04:17] Speaker A: No offense to our older viewers, but I think at that age, wet is not the adjective. [01:04:30] Speaker E: I'm more than happy to leave Aidan behind. He doesn't offer much in class and I can't imagine he'd offer much right now. So, no. [01:04:41] Speaker A: Then Professor Wilmot approaches the desk, of course, asks for the keys, the voice coming back anytime, professor. She hands off. That is a two packs of pow miles a day kind of narration. So the three. [01:04:56] Speaker E: Thank you so much. [01:04:58] Speaker A: So the three of you leave Aidan to his own devices and stepping around the corner. The Lawson found is kept just behind the security station in a locked room not so far away that if something were to go wrong that the desk officer could not come find you. Or if you need aid, you could not find him. Inside, it's dark and bare. The floor is plain concrete. The walls are plain concrete. NYU has a billion dollar endowment. Yeah, but you don't get that kind of endowment by wasting it on your lost and found room. On each of the walls there are metal cages, like you might see storing bicycles. Or, also, calls to mind a bit, an adoption center for pets. Each individual piece sealed behind a small grate, each grate having a padlock. You've been given the keys to Noah. Walking inside, your steps echo. They shouldn't. The room's not that big. I doubt you notice. And as you approach the numbered cage that you were given, there's the faintest whiff of antiseptic bleach. Like a hospital. Clean, where you can smell. Not like a hospital, like a high school when someone got sick and then they put down the sawdust and the chemical. But it doesn't solve the smell. You just get both smells at the same time. Now. [01:06:51] Speaker B: Can we tell where the smell is coming from? [01:06:56] Speaker A: No. And I think the second that you. You know, you do that first. Like, when you try to find it, like trying to remember a dream, it's just gone. [01:07:10] Speaker B: I look at Aisha and Professor Wilmot. [01:07:14] Speaker A: Did. [01:07:15] Speaker B: Did you guys smell that? [01:07:21] Speaker E: I thought it was just me, but apparently. Yeah, no, I did. But I don't see anything that it could be. No. [01:07:35] Speaker B: I. Maybe somebody spilled chemicals or something, and they didn't air out the room. That's probably it, right? [01:07:44] Speaker C: Maybe. [01:07:52] Speaker A: There'S a creaking, squeaking sound. You look to the door just in time to see a visibly pregnant 19 year old pushing a cart, wearing a janitor's outfit. [01:08:14] Speaker E: Hello. I'm. [01:08:19] Speaker A: Doesn't say anything. Doesn't seem to regard your presence at all. Just walks by. [01:08:31] Speaker B: Uh, excuse me. Okay, if she's not going to respond to my voice, I guess I'm gonna go up and I'm just gonna, like, tap her on the shoulder. [01:08:46] Speaker A: It's going to be difficult. As you walk to the door, poke your head left. Poke your head right. And she's gone. Will you roll to keep it together for me? [01:09:01] Speaker B: 19. [01:09:04] Speaker A: Must have gone to an elevator, gone into a dorm room. Something had earbuds in. Who knows? [01:09:11] Speaker B: Hmm. Okay. Weird. Whatever. Anyway, which of these is Noah's again. [01:09:26] Speaker A: You'Ve been given locker 19, which is not hard to find. It's at about chest level, so you can imagine that there are rows, four of them stacked, and then room left above, because, of course, it's New York City. It would be a terrible safety violation to have have them stacked any higher. It is exactly high enough that one person is legally allowed by the Department of Health and Safety to put something on top of it. You can open it up. There is a small number of cardboard boxes, kind you would use for moving things. And then a small suitcase. Aisha, you were there. You helped Noah pack. He didn't have that suitcase when he left. [01:10:15] Speaker C: Well, obviously, I'm gonna pull it out of the locker. [01:10:19] Speaker A: It also has a very elaborate combination lock. Not the kind of simple, keep the TSA out of your luggage. But they don't care. They'll break it. And then put a little note in your luggage saying, we had to break it for national security reasons. Lock. No, this is a. This is a locks lock. Other locks. Look at this lock and go, God damn. [01:10:48] Speaker C: And it's a game master. You said it's a combination lock? [01:10:51] Speaker A: Mm hmm. [01:10:56] Speaker C: Knowing what I know about my brother, does he have any standards for crap like this? [01:11:03] Speaker A: I believe that's your. I believe that's for advantage. So why don't you roll your advantage. [01:11:31] Speaker C: And. [01:11:33] Speaker A: Sorry, Aaron, um, you don't add anything to it. It's just the two dice together. [01:11:37] Speaker C: Okay, that is 1313. [01:11:48] Speaker A: Well, what's the first number you guessed? What significant date would come to mind? Who's the most important person in Noah's life, and what's the most important number for that person. [01:12:08] Speaker C: Face value. It would be our birthday. [01:12:16] Speaker A: So you put it in five digit number. Try the first one. And it's. Oh. 1019. 85. No, that's not. Well, maybe it's the date. 310. 85. No, that's not it. I wonder how long it's going to take you to figure out who he replaced you with. Kendall, what's your birthday? [01:12:52] Speaker B: July 18. [01:12:55] Speaker A: Could give that a shot. Could give that a shot, Aisha. And when the lock clicks open, you can roll. Your disadvantage. For me, not a good result. [01:13:31] Speaker C: I'm pretty sure that says seven. Well, hold on. Pause above table d. Ten s. Do we say that the zero is the ten or is the zero, like. Okay, good, then we're fine. That's a 17. [01:13:49] Speaker A: Yeah, you're fine. It's unbelievable that the person who shared a womb with you would replace you with whatever the fuck that is. This trash he found on the streets of New York. Who? God, thanks to what fucking Aiden got him into, all of a sudden became more important. And other. Other circumstances, you would put this little r skank in her place right now. But it's not about that. It's not about you. It's about Noah. And you can swallow all of that back before it makes it onto your face. [01:14:34] Speaker C: It's fine. She's the ex anyway. [01:14:41] Speaker A: Because your brother has taste. Once he figured it out, then it's gotta be. It's gotta be it. In any case, the suitcase is unlocked and the boxes are still there. Are we searching them in any particular order? [01:15:02] Speaker B: Aisha seems really preoccupied with the suitcase for some reason, so I'm fine to let her sit with that. I'm going to go after the boxes. [01:15:16] Speaker A: With a 17 on her, keeping it together on her advantage. Then there would be no visible sign. Like, there's a moment. [01:15:21] Speaker B: No, no, I literally just mean that, like, she's going through and trying the lock and, like, she finally gets it open, so, like, she's dealing with that. She's focused on going through that. So I'm gonna do the boxes. [01:15:37] Speaker A: It's fairly boring, honestly. There are clothes, textbooks, some old writing journals. Oh, you remember that hoodie? You stole it from him, and then he thought that was cute and then stole it back. And I bet it still smells like both of you in the way that so many of those shirts did. You have to dig pretty deep to the bottom to find a USB drive. It's not labeled. Kendall doesn't strike me as the kind of person who's taken a security assurance course, so I'm sure you're willing to plug that into whatever computer you find? [01:16:09] Speaker B: Well, yeah. I mean, it's just his flash drive. What's the problem? [01:16:13] Speaker A: Last, the iranian nuclear program had that worked out, but that is neither here nor there. Professor, you, of course, have seen the outfits that he's worn to class. You know, he had that one shirt. It was like his creative shirt, the old shirt. What was the band on it? [01:16:34] Speaker E: I think it was bowling for soup. [01:16:40] Speaker A: That's what it was. [01:16:40] Speaker E: Yes. [01:16:42] Speaker A: I think one of those nights really late in office hours where he talked about how that was his first concert. And, you know, I think that's when he learned how he could be, like, a rebel and kind of push his boundaries. And whenever he really needed to grind through an assignment, that's what he would wear. Aiden, that's also the shirt you told him he absolutely, under no circumstances, could wear to the party you were going to. [01:17:10] Speaker E: Yeah. [01:17:11] Speaker D: Love what you love, but don't. But don't. Not at these parties. [01:17:18] Speaker A: All of it sentimental for various reasons. Aisha, your adventure is slightly different. I'm gonna ask this question with no judgment whatsoever. But aside from when you were children, have you seen your brother naked? [01:17:40] Speaker C: No. [01:17:46] Speaker A: About that. Because whatever else is in this suitcase, and there is a lot in this suitcase, on top of it are polaroids. It is a vision of someone trying to do artistic pornography, but poorly. And God forbid you push any of them aside, because the ones above are. We'll call it solo work. But it becomes very clear who the accomplice was who was holding the camera for the first series. She hasn't changed her hair. It looks quite the same in your brother's fist or in his lap. You've already succeeded on your disadvantage. Check. So I'm not going to hit you again with it for this scene, but I will ask you to keep it together, to not make a face that I think Kendall will really enjoy seeing. That's an 1111. Okay. You're not going to punch her, which I think we can all appreciate. But there's one nice, swooping motion as you scrape up all the pictures and then just throw them at her. [01:19:40] Speaker B: Excuse you. [01:19:42] Speaker C: What the fuck? [01:19:44] Speaker B: What do you mean, what the fuck? And I'll pick up one of the Polaroids. Oh. Oh, okay. Well, I'm so sorry you had to see these were not. These were definitely not. Not meant for your eyes. Definitely not meant for you to see them. And I'm gonna, like, kind of scramble them all together. It's. It was just. It was just a little fun. [01:20:21] Speaker A: He told you no one would ever see them. That was the rule when you started anyway. But we don't have to talk about that, professor. You've also not seen Noah naked. It would only take a. A flitter of the images going past you for you to recognize what those photos are. I'm sure you had Polaroids of a similar sort in your younger days or your more recent days, if the faculty inquest is to be believed. [01:20:48] Speaker E: Um, they definitely catch my eye. Uh, I am, uh. I'm not going to pick any of them up, but I'm not gonna not watch as Kendall gathers them together. And I definitely enjoy the memories that I. That they kindle in me. Noah and I just really do have so much in common. And it's really. It's all about art in the end. That's really what it is. [01:21:25] Speaker A: Well, that raises a question for me. Just as a fairly vanilla, straight white man, and also not much of an artist, is the art also the reason for the riding crop or the leather knee pads or the wrist restraints or I. Okay, it's either a door stopper or a butt plug. And, like, the only reason I can't decide is the size of it. [01:21:57] Speaker E: It's a butt plug. When in doubt, the bigger it is. [01:22:03] Speaker A: If Aidan were here, he would say that, uh, wow, Jeff moved straight into graduate level on that one. I don't. I don't see the. The working up. Just jump on in, Kendall, you remember that. [01:22:21] Speaker B: I do. Yep. [01:22:25] Speaker A: Yep. [01:22:26] Speaker B: And it's about this time that I think I'm going to kind of grab the suitcase and just try and pull it away from Aisha, because there's nothing good at the bottom of this suitcase for her, so she should not be going through it. [01:22:47] Speaker A: Aisha, I can't imagine you have any particular attachment to. I mean, it's an expensive collection. It's heavy. I don't think you could get this luggage through airport security, not because of the contents, but because of the weight limit. [01:23:12] Speaker C: I wouldn't say that I throw the suitcase at Kendall, but it goes sliding towards her with probably a little more force than is necessary. [01:23:26] Speaker A: Arriving at your feet. Kendall will say that it jostles slightly enough for one of the Shibari manuals to come sliding off the top of another book and reveal something else underneath. That's a journal. You see the familiar black and white speckled cover of. Obviously, those are, like, the official colors of journals, right? [01:23:57] Speaker B: Based on what else is in this luggage, I am a little concerned what kind of journal he be keeping in here. So I'm going to pick it up and I'm going to open it. And until I know what's inside, I'm definitely not sharing it with anybody else. Because the last thing I need is to share a journal of our sexual exploits. Or him rating the positions, or talking about the techniques that worked and things that didn't work. And whatever else he chose to document. [01:24:33] Speaker C: I. [01:24:36] Speaker A: Yeah, well, you're a curious and inquisitive sort. Assume for a moment that there are eight weeks of journals for no, no reason. Just throwing that out there. Would you be the kind of person who reads the one while you were still dating? Or the one after you broke up? [01:24:58] Speaker B: Well, first the one when we're together, and then the one immediately after. [01:25:10] Speaker A: It reads. I saw that video online. It caught my eye among the multitude of lewd thumbnails I remember it wasn't exactly my usual thing, but I decided to give it a chance. It made me so happy and whole. As if nothing about me was ugly, nothing broken. I just kept stroking myself and stroking and was filled with such intense, intense love, I cried when I came. The feeling left soon after. I've been looking for that video ever since. I can't stop. Do you remember that time that your boyfriend had to show up late, too late to get the reservations for your anniversary? I mean, it was only like, your, what, two month anniversary? So it wasn't that serious. But it was also kind of that serious, wasn't it? [01:26:11] Speaker B: Yeah, it was. [01:26:13] Speaker A: What excuse did he give you? [01:26:18] Speaker B: He said that he had to get a jump from Aisha, actually. His car wouldn't start, and he was out hanging out with her or they were going to visit a family member that was at a home or something. It was really shaky. But I didn't really interrogate it too much further because I wanted to believe him. [01:26:48] Speaker A: I wouldn't interrogate it too much right now. But you turn the pages until after a time that you broke up. The time, rather, it reads, I went to the room. I told myself I wouldn't, but the pining was just. It was so strong, I couldn't resist it. Fuck. I mean, that was stupid to me, but it felt so good. I was alone for an hour and I didn't think anybody would show up, but they did. 2510. I lost count eventually, and nobody said a word. They fucked me on the seedy mattresses and against the walls. They pushed me and pulled my hair and bound me. I had so many people inside me, I feel filthy. But each and every one of them brought me closer to something I can't describe it. Every order. Orgasm was a moment of clarity I have never experienced before. I feel this close to understanding everything. I'll go there again soon. [01:28:31] Speaker B: Fucking kidding me? [01:28:35] Speaker A: You say that out loud? [01:28:38] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. [01:28:42] Speaker E: What is it? [01:28:47] Speaker A: I. [01:28:51] Speaker B: I don't know what got into him, actually. No, you know what? I do. I do know what got into him. Apparently, a fuckload of people, that's what got into him. And I just, like, throw the journal across the floor. [01:29:14] Speaker A: It lands open on a single page. Noah has sketched a figure. A woman with a slightly upturned nose, shoulder length black hair, impossibly high cheekbones. Francis, you will recognize that woman immediately because you know her, even though you've never seen her. You can feel her breath even though you don't know who she is. [01:29:51] Speaker E: Am I close enough to pick up the journal? [01:29:54] Speaker A: If you'd like. [01:29:55] Speaker E: I will pick up the journal, and I will look to see if there's any text around or on the next page or the page prior to it that might connect to the drawing. [01:30:13] Speaker A: It reads. I can't sleep. The craving never seems to go away. It's driving me mad. I keep looking for new ways to get myself off, but the toys are so expensive. And I rub my dick raw in the shower. I need something more. I don't even know. This need is growing inside of me. I'm afraid of catching something. But then the text is split by this picture of the woman. It continues. Oh, shit. I think I may have caught something after all. I've been throwing up, but only this weird black bile comes out. It sticks to my throat, and I keep wanting to swallow, but I can't. It. It makes me feel so full. And I can't stop thinking about going back. This entry is dated five days ago. [01:31:21] Speaker E: Um, I explain what I've just read without, um, getting into the details that I think I connect with most. Uh, I explain the fact that he was sick. Noah. Noah seems to have been ill. He. Some. Some sort of. He says he's been vomiting. Vomiting black bile, which, honestly, I'm not that kind of doctor. I don't know what that is. And he keeps referencing a room or a place that he wants to go back to, but, uh, yeah, flip. [01:32:03] Speaker B: Flip a few pages back. You can read all about the room, you can read all about the place and all about the people. And you know, what? If he caught something fucking good? [01:32:13] Speaker E: Well, this was five days ago, though. This last entry. [01:32:16] Speaker C: What? [01:32:17] Speaker B: What? [01:32:22] Speaker E: Five days ago? [01:32:23] Speaker B: Five days ago. [01:32:24] Speaker E: Sick and throwing up and. [01:32:29] Speaker B: No, no, no, because he's been gone for weeks now. Um, on. Is there any information about when all of this stuff was collected from his dorm? [01:32:48] Speaker A: Yeah. 14 days ago. [01:32:54] Speaker B: Okay, so if this was collected 14 days ago, how is the journal updated? Five days ago? [01:33:00] Speaker E: Five days ago. [01:33:01] Speaker B: I mean, he just. [01:33:03] Speaker C: He. [01:33:04] Speaker B: He probably wrote the date wrong, right? That's because there's. There's no other explanation for it. [01:33:12] Speaker A: I don't know. We're all to keep it together. [01:33:18] Speaker B: Eleven. [01:33:21] Speaker A: Keep that in your pocket. [01:33:29] Speaker E: Ten. [01:33:30] Speaker A: Okay. [01:33:34] Speaker C: Uh, 14. [01:33:37] Speaker A: You're the only one who believes what Kendall is saying. Like, uh. Yeah, obviously, my brother is not a time traveler. The doctor hooner is the one who brought the coffee, not my brother. Just got the fucking date wrong. Or Kendall's all worked up because we've seen. What? Terribly sorry. For a moment, I was in character, looking at vy, going, what a dumb slut. And then I was like, I can't call v that. Vy's my friend. And that's why my brain stopped returning. Of course, he got the day wrong. He was too busy with this dumb slut. But, Francis, you felt the breath and the air. And even now, holding this journal, the pages feel sharp. Not quite a razor blade, but, I mean. Oh, the paper cut. It would give you. It's rigid and stiff. You could hurt yourself with it if you wanted to. And Kendall, it's that hurt that comes up. Of course. The pictures of you. That's how it started. That's how he opened the door. And that's what led to everything going wrong. But that pain is in here. It's definitely not your shoulders. The way it might hurt if someone had bound your wrists together behind your back and left you there. Or the way your ankles would hurt if they were suspended from an apparatus. Why are the pages so warm when you hold them? Is it the pages, though? Or is it your own skin? Do you remember how flushed you used to feel those first nights when you said, you're not that kind of girl? And he said, I'm really not that kind of guy either. And then you giggled together, falling into his bed. Why does it feel like that? I don't. [01:36:05] Speaker B: I don't know. There's. There's no reason it should, right? That doesn't. That doesn't make any sense. [01:36:17] Speaker A: Does it need to make sense? Do you want it to make sense? [01:36:26] Speaker B: There have been a lot of very confusing moments in the last couple months of my relationship with Noah. There's been a lot of times that I started to question my own sanity. A lot of the time when dealing with him it got really bad. So in a way, I would really like it to make sense, because otherwise, I'm just back to feeling crazy. [01:37:02] Speaker A: And Doctor Wilmot, what is happening? You, more than anyone in this room, probably this building, if not this block, you have read more words than any other human within arm's reach, and then some. And nothing you have ever read to say nothing, anything you've ever written has made you feel this way. But when you hold that book, you're connected to something, to another place. But it's that passage about the room, the one that Kendall pointed out that takes us back somewhere, doesn't it? [01:37:48] Speaker E: Yeah. Noah and I really have a lot in common. It reminds me when I was 18 and I first came to New York. And it reminds me of my first job and how I managed to work my way through college. It wasn't as a writer as was certainly. I'm surprised to see Noah's suitcase because they're all things that I'm very familiar with, and they're all things that I used to be very comfortable using. And still am, if I'm going to be honest. But I wouldn't want to tell them that. [01:38:55] Speaker A: No. I recall the administrative hearing said you were explicitly not allowed to talk about as a condition of the settlement. [01:39:02] Speaker E: That's correct. And that's why reading what Noah went through in this room, part of me, part of me feels very sad that he had to experience some of the things that I went through. And then part of me is so excited for him because that's, those are the days where I felt the most powerful and the most, the most in control of my life that I ever have. It's strange to say, but when you're bound, you're, you are, you are on top of the world. And reading what Noah went through, it just makes me, it makes me almost long for those days when things made a lot where. When things I, when I was able to do what I wanted to do without having to deal with all of the crap in the world and all the crap from the, the bureaucrats in this school. [01:40:27] Speaker A: I would like you to roll your repressed memories. Disadvantage for me. [01:40:41] Speaker E: 13. [01:40:47] Speaker A: It'S one specific feeling. Noah doesn't describe it, but it's there between the words. In the same way that what you read in his assignment changed. And like staring into a magic eye picture, you can see all the dots. But if you step back away from it, you can see into that third dimension. In this case, perhaps there are more than three. Kendall and Aisha or even Aidan could read this a hundred times and never see what you see. Or more specifically, feel what it is, because he describes the way it feels. Felt to be held against a wall and have someone enjoy everything he had to offer, to take everything that he could give and use it to fill themselves up. And there's a specific moment where there's the brush of a beard against your cheek and strong hands on your hips, and they whisper that phrase, the one that makes your knees buckle against the cheap board. And it's not the words that you hear. The more you focus on it, the blurrier it becomes. If audio can become blurry, but you know it's the same. Something happened to you, and you can't remember what. But whoever did it. God, is it even the sound? Or is it just the way it vibrated against just those insides of your ears? Huh? Yeah, that's, um. That's unpleasant. And I think it's appropriate. Appropriate for me right now to kind of let the three of you experience those feelings in your own way. Meanwhile, in the lobby, Aiden, you've been attempting, I assume, to flirt with the guard. I'm interested to know how that's going. But it is also time for us to take the first of our breaks. So we are going to check in with each other. Come above table, take some deep breaths, make sure everyone's on the same level, then go hydrate, yada, yada, yada. For those of you in the audience, I implore you, do the same. We will be back in ten minutes with more of cult, divinity, lost, downfall. See you soon. Oh, boy. Welcome back, everybody. I would say that we're excited to be here. I know I am, but, I mean, like, look at these faces. I'm not so sure we're all here consensually, though, and feel good to continue. Right, excellent. Then, as I said, we will leave Frances, Kendall, and Aisha with the contents of Noah's suitcase and all the secrets spilling out therein. There are plenty more journal pages to handle, but let's rewind time a bit to aiden and the security guard. I don't know that I want to know, but I'm going to ask, just as a dramatic exercise, what's your pickup style when you approach this woman? And it's that. Yeah, I wouldn't mind. What's your angle? [01:44:43] Speaker D: My first angle, as always, is to create a sense of confidence, charisma, and safety. I want them to want me, and I want them to be feeling safe and wanting me. I want to become like a friend. Just a little bit of danger involved. So usually I walk up, make direct eyes, eye contact, body language directly at them, smiling, very safe posture, and always with an introduction. Again, I want them to feel safe so they know who I am and they can choose to like me, but, I mean, they'd be wrong not to like me. So we'll go from there. [01:45:26] Speaker A: I suppose it's a very curious interaction for the students walking in and out of the room to see you flirting so earnestly with an, as we've established, everybody else recognizes as a perfectly serviceable late middle aged security guard. But that doesn't matter from your perspective, because there's something else inside your brain, something else that you see. For her part, the conversation is going quite well. Not so interested that they appear desperate or overzealous for your attention, but not so cold that they want you to stop. Just the perfect amount of cat and mouse, make you work for it so they feel valuable. And I don't know how one can create a percentage track for this kind of thing, starting at zero, having just introduced and calling, 100%, sealing the deal, whatever that means. But we'll say you're about 70% of the way to that conversation, at least by your journey judgment. And as I understand it, you have excellent judgment when it comes to this kind of thing that your phone rings. And it's, um. It's not the ringtone you use for the other people, it's the ringtone you use for the other people. What's that sound like? [01:46:51] Speaker D: Everyone else that calls, calls my phone. It's a very, very standard phone ring, almost fake because it's synthetic. And then for the other people that call my phone, it's like a simple alarm clock sound going off. Makes it sound like a timer that I've set for myself is going off, just like an alarm clock going off. There's always a spike of anxiety when that sound echoes in my ear. [01:47:20] Speaker A: Timer is apt, considering the demands they've made. You are, after all, very literally on a clock. How many times do you let it ring? [01:47:31] Speaker D: No more than three. [01:47:34] Speaker A: Then that means you're cutting off your conversation very abruptly. A hurried apology, perhaps, an embarrassed face, whether real or imagined, where do you take the call. [01:47:46] Speaker D: Looking to hurt? I have to immediately swallow the probably panic, sorry to build in my chest. And I smile and I say, thank you so much for your time. This has been lovely, but I have to go. Sorry, little thing here. And as I pretend to swipe my phone like I'm turning off an alarm, I proceed to go down the corridor and look for a nearby bathroom. Assuming that my. Much like all the dorms here, there's a common bathroom in the hallways. [01:48:13] Speaker A: Naturally, we can hope that it's not too crowded. Or if at least it's not crowded now, we can hope it stays that way. And you raise the phone to your ear. The voice on the other end does not wait for you to say hello, because obviously you are the lesser important part of this equation. Aiden Habibi. We haven't heard from you recently. [01:48:39] Speaker B: Hey, be. [01:48:40] Speaker D: How's it going? Yes, uh, you know, I only like to check in when I have something for you. Of course. [01:48:48] Speaker A: And that is precisely the nature of my concern. Because you're supposed to have something for us, aren't you? Yeah. [01:48:57] Speaker E: Yeah. [01:48:59] Speaker A: Last time we talked, you said the situation was well under control, but that. Then I have looked here, and it appears that someone has made a police report. They have talked to La Shorta, saying that our mutual friend is missing. Mm hmm. [01:49:15] Speaker D: Well, like I said, I like to reach out when I have something. There was a small hiccup, but, you know, they say good things are worth waiting for, and I am working on it right now. I have some amazing people helping us right now. [01:49:35] Speaker A: Yes, I know. The sister and also the professor. And I believe the girlfriend as well, was the last one to walk in. Yes. [01:49:45] Speaker D: Yeah, the ex girlfriend, of course. [01:49:49] Speaker A: I want you to do me a favor so we can play a game. I want you to ask me how we know. [01:50:00] Speaker D: Okay? All right, baby, buddy, tell me, how do you know? [01:50:07] Speaker A: Yeah, it would be more fun if I can show you. You can leave the bathroom. Please. Out the front door, past the woman you were speaking to a moment ago. [01:50:15] Speaker C: Okay. [01:50:16] Speaker D: Okay. Out the bathroom. You want me to leave the building or do you want me to move? Meet you in a special corridor? [01:50:22] Speaker A: Oh, no, just outside the very front door onto the sidewalk. This will be fine. [01:50:28] Speaker D: Great. All right. Thank you very much. I will be talking to you soon. Be buddy. Okay? [01:50:34] Speaker A: Mm hmm. All right. [01:50:37] Speaker D: Up to you. In your voice. See you soon. [01:50:40] Speaker A: It's already hung up at that point. All right. [01:50:52] Speaker D: All right, Aidan, let's go. [01:51:00] Speaker A: You pass the security guard, and that will not be the first indication that things are wrong. You got that indication with the phone call. Did she change shifts? Was it break time? Where did that woman go? [01:51:16] Speaker D: She was just here. Now there's this fortunate situation happening. Whatever, I guess, you know, hey, it can't all be like the first one, right? [01:51:28] Speaker A: No. And regardless, there's certainly no time to deal with that now, right? [01:51:33] Speaker D: Not at all. [01:51:36] Speaker A: So you push the heavy door open there are leftover from when this building was a hotel. So we've got the nice polished brass bar. The glass is heavy. It's been replaced, of course, over the years now, having those little stencils of metal inside to keep people from being able to just smash their way through it and step out onto the sidewalk. New York is this. [01:51:59] Speaker D: Sorry, go ahead, I was gonna say, as I put my hand on the doorknob to push myself out, looking casual on my phone, as I always do. I just make a quick text to Aisha, stepping outside for a bit. Let me know how the search goes. Send. [01:52:23] Speaker A: Ayesha. Your phone will ring. We'll come back to that in a moment. But, Aidan, you push the door open and step onto the sidewalk. Now, New York is a city of a million faces. Seven or 8 million, if I remember correctly. You've seen them all, passing you not as individuals, but broken down into categories. There's the street hustler. There's the homeless unfortunate. There's the trust fund student. There's the advertising czar. There's the bodega owner. You have all the categories, hundreds of them, and that is why you are able to spot the one person, for that reason and the fact that they are staring directly at you from across the street. It's a gentleman in his late thirties, built like a sanitation worker. Corded muscle, the kind that comes with hard labor as opposed to lifting weights. He's dressed in a New York City sanitation uniform with one of those large poles that they use to poke trash up off the ground and then slide into their backpack or the pouch that they hold on their side. And you can see him staring directly at you, eyes flat, cold. It's the kind of face you see spies make in movies. And then he makes a point to jab what he's holding down into the ground. And I don't know how long it's going to take you to realize it, but when you finally see that it can't be one of those lances because it doesn't have a pointed end, it's too thick. And last you checked, that kind of equipment doesn't have a magazine or a trigger. And he waits for you to make that connection. He waits to see that you see before he smiles, cracks his neck left and then right, and waits long enough for you to see that tattoo. It's been a few years since you've seen that tattoo for the first time. What does it look like? [01:55:00] Speaker D: A tattoo is a very intricate series of symbols to the casual passerby it looks like just kind of like a mess of lions and noble creatures, but it's very specifically set up. It's about power, prestige, about being a part of something above everything else. Usually given to either people in very powerful prisons. Prisons or in very dark corners of the world. [01:55:39] Speaker A: I actually would be surprised if you found anyone with that tattoo in prison. Because the amount of money and influence and power that comes with membership in this organization is more than sufficient to keep you out of those kinds of places. And you've tasted that money and that power. There's a reason your clothes are so expensive. There's a reason so many doors are open to you. And you and I both know it's not because you're charming. It's not because you're attractive. It's not because you're. What did you say? Charismatic. Comfortable. And safe. Confident and safe. Your phone rings, or should I say, your alarm goes off. [01:56:35] Speaker D: I wait for them to speak first. [01:56:39] Speaker A: You solved the riddle. [01:56:45] Speaker D: Yeah. Yeah, I made it really easy for me. I appreciate the babies for a puzzle box you gave me. [01:56:52] Speaker A: We appreciate clarity in our line of business. You know this. Mm hmm. Aiden, I want you to think about the amount of money we've given you, of all the things you have. [01:57:07] Speaker D: Yeah. Think about it. Every day. [01:57:11] Speaker A: Every day. And I would love nothing more than for you to be able to think about this for the. The rest of your life. But unfortunately, if you do not find the person that we are looking for, that we agreed upon, that might not be very long, will it? [01:57:31] Speaker D: Listen, buddy, you sound very, very aware of what you need and want. But let me guarantee that I'm gonna be looking for this guy. I guarantee you. What do you think? Maybe options are available. There's always. I mean, there's always. There's so many people, you never know what you're gonna get, right? [01:57:55] Speaker A: I am listening. [01:57:59] Speaker D: Like I said, buddy, I have a lot of amazing people helping me find this guy. A lot of incredible people. Some that know him intimately, some that know him more than that. So, uh, let me just see what we can do. And worst case scenario, I gave you something even better. The next best thing. [01:58:27] Speaker A: I see. I appreciate your willingness to solve problems. I will give you seven days. And at the end of it, you will have a body for me, or I will have your body for me. Do you understand? Yeah. [01:58:49] Speaker D: Loud and clear. Absolutely. [01:58:53] Speaker A: It is always a pleasure doing business with you, Aiden. Please return to your friends before they become suspicious. [01:58:59] Speaker D: Of course. All right, well, thanks. Was talking to you, too. It's great talking to you too. It's been way too long. All right, let's catch up again in about a week or so and see how. See how we're doing. [01:59:12] Speaker A: Lines already dead. [01:59:14] Speaker D: Great, great. Week from now, talk to them. [01:59:21] Speaker A: Let's take a small journey back in time, you and I. How did you get involved in this mess? [01:59:32] Speaker D: I think the story's the same every time. You're gonna everyone like this. Story of fear, story of being desperate, story of not having enough. And the only thing in your mind, the only imperative, screaming from the back of your skull, is to survive. When you have nothing, and then when you're alone and have nothing, and all you need is surviving. Survival, it's easier to eventually give yourself away to something that will allow you to survive and thrive. [02:00:13] Speaker A: Oh, and thrive you have. They've promised you a place among them, and all you have to do is a few errands. It started out simple enough. Just give us a list of names, we'll take care of it. $5,000 each name, easy money. And then it was $20,000 to make an introduction to suggest that there's a really great club in Soho. We should go there. And then as the demands got more sinister, as they began to peel away the nature of their intent, the dollar signs were always enough to match your morality. But no one's different. Oh, no, by all means. Sorry, go ahead. [02:01:15] Speaker D: Oh, no, I was just gonna say it's. It's. It's so funny. You go to college and you spend all this time trying to grow and learn about yourself and learn about morality and navel gaze about the universe. And then you realize really fast, that's all relative. Just like the scientist said. Equals MC squared. It's relative. With the money that I'm getting from these terrible things, I'm allowing my ability to thrive so I can do greater things. Or not. It's just contractual. Makes it easier, I guess. But at the same time, it's natural. Something. [02:02:00] Speaker E: About it. [02:02:03] Speaker D: It's more than the money, you know, it's the power, it's the magnetism, the interlocking parts that feel so meant to be. I don't know. [02:02:24] Speaker A: Meant to be for you, perhaps. Would you say it is meant to be for Noah? Or as you make last minute bargains with these people, is it meant to be for Kendall? Or for Francis or Faisha? [02:02:47] Speaker D: Fatalism is always a terrible way to look at the universe. Is it meant to be for them? Who knows? Is it meant to be for me? Maybe. I know, I know. With Noah there was an aspect of it that he wanted. He came to me with all of the experiences that I gave for him, that he grew from, that he manifested with those things, became in him a new person. This wasn't just a ruse. [02:03:31] Speaker A: There was. [02:03:32] Speaker D: There was something. There was something genuine for Noah in this. This was. [02:03:35] Speaker A: This was. [02:03:35] Speaker D: This was the next level, the next evolution. It was a great opportunity for me to use my power to. To give him everything he wanted. It was a mutually beneficial win win. And now. And now it's gone shit in the wind, and it's my ass on the line. And you got to do what you can to survive. And if that means I find Noah and I put him back on course, great. And if that means something else, that is a step that we do when we get there. You do what you must to survive. Simple as, right? [02:04:27] Speaker A: Simple as needs must. Well, I can imagine four things simultaneously. I can imagine that Aidan would not like to be within sight of the janitor any longer. I imagine that Aisha is very tired of being in this room with these belongings. I imagine that Francis would very much like to be out of the room as well, for slightly different reasons. And Kendall? The same. Each of you has something to hide from right now. Something personal, something you haven't shared with the others. When the four of you meet together again, you can at least take some solace in the mutual discomfort. You don't have to think about why people have bad days all the time in New York City. Right? What was it Francis said? You survived the bad days. You become memorable. Congratulations. You're on the first step to being memorable. But the mystery isn't over. So let's talk about what happens next. It's going to be a few minutes before each of you is able to shake away the things that you've experienced. Aiden, you have to wait for the fear to settle Aisha. You have to wait for the disgust to wash away Kendall. You have to wait for it to stop hurting Francis. You have to wait for it to stop throbbing. But eventually, some amount of normalcy arrives. What's the next step? Well. [02:06:41] Speaker D: I did say I was going to be outside. And I think it's only appropriate to let them come to me. They know where I am. They know that I'm a part of this just as much as they are. I'm going to get up my phone and I'm going to message a few people and just wait until either they call me or text me back. Or until they come outside to meet me. After all, such a beautiful day outside. Why do you want to spend it indoors? Outside is where the living are. [02:07:11] Speaker A: For now, anyway. Let's split it up. Thus, then, Aisha, you did get the text message from Aiden. And the reaction that Kendall and Frances are having to the material in the suitcase is only slightly less disgusting than the reaction you had. So I think it's reasonable to say that you would depart the scene first and we can arrive at a moment where you are having a conversation with Aiden. And then Francis and Kendall are still alone in the lost and found room. Does that feel good to everybody? [02:07:44] Speaker C: Yeah, anything to get away from this shit. For now. [02:07:52] Speaker A: Well, I've put Aidan on the spot recently. I'd like to give him a chance to recharge. I will turn to Francis and Kendall. Aisha storms off as the two of you pour over journal entries. Francis, as you regain your senses, Kendall, as you clean up the evidence of the things you were convinced to do from the floor, there will be silence. Neither one of you brave enough to speak what you're feeling out loud, in part because it feels crazy, in part because admitting it makes you vulnerable. But that's the thing about vulnerable people, isn't it? When you've been somewhere dangerous, you can smell it out around others. It's the way that depressed people can laugh at the same memes and then learn something from across the room. It's the reason ADHD Twitter is always passing the same five memes around. Like recognizes like, game recognizes game and all that. So I want you to imagine that, Kendall, you're picking up the pictures. Francis, you are finally closing the journal. And then the two of you make that fatal moment of eye contact. And you can see with some amount of clarity that there's more going on than meets the eye. [02:09:34] Speaker B: I don't. I don't even know where to begin with all of this. It's. It's a lot. [02:09:49] Speaker E: It is. Um. I didn't realize that Noah was doing any of this, um, for real. Uh, I guess I should have suspected, um, based on what he wrote, but, um. [02:10:11] Speaker B: How. How could you possibly suspect? Like, how is the. How is that. How does that make any sense? Oh, yes, of course. No, his writing went from shitty to not shitty. And then I should have known that he was using his girlfriend as a fuck puppet. And then apparently, she wasn't enough that he had to go off and, like, fuck everybody else and get fucked by everybody else. How. How is that a logical conclusion to get to, Professor Wilmot? Honestly. [02:10:51] Speaker E: I just. Noah. Noah was from a small town, and I don't think. I don't think. It just, I can't believe that how much he has been through mirrors my life. It's, I stop there because I don't realize, I don't want to say any more beyond that because I catch myself. I should never have said that out loud. I know what you went through. Let's just leave it there. Kendall. [02:11:48] Speaker B: I doubt that there. You probably have an inkling because I am broken and ways that I hide better than others. But I like that you think that you know me from a few pieces of Noah's writing and I gesture to the suitcase, all of this shit. [02:12:32] Speaker E: I might not know you, but if this is what you went through and I gestured to the suitcase, you're not the only person in the world who has been put in that situation, who has had to find themselves on the wrong end of a riding crop or, and I point to the Polaroids, anything else happening in there? It's, it's easy to feel like you have to give every part of yourself to the person that you love to make them happy, because then you'll feel happy and you'll feel special. [02:13:40] Speaker A: No. I even said as much to you. No, it's not a broken heart. Sub drop. Just come here. [02:13:53] Speaker E: No. [02:13:54] Speaker A: I know I called you those things, but you gotta understand, it's different in the moment, right? I don't actually think those things about you. That's just, like, part of what makes it fun. No, of course I wouldn't show anyone. Are you kidding me? [02:14:18] Speaker B: I wanted so badly to make him happy. That's all. That's all I ever wanted. [02:14:35] Speaker E: I had that. My no was Chuck. But you can't make them happy that way. [02:15:06] Speaker B: I just don't. I just don't understand why I was just not good enough as I was. Because at one point, I was. Until I wasn't. [02:15:38] Speaker E: I'm sure that you were good enough. Kendall, what is in this journal, what is in Noah's mind, his heart, his, that doesn't have any reflection on whether or not you were good enough? I've been you. I've been Noah. I, I don't think that it's ever as easy as good enough. There's no such thing as, there's no such thing as a black and white answer with this kind of thing. [02:16:33] Speaker A: No, Kendall, from your experience, the answers were black and blue. But what does it feel like to have someone reaching out to you in a moment of comfort? The professor seems to think the answer is to make you feel better about what happened. But that's not why you're here. [02:16:59] Speaker B: No, it's not. It's hard. Because on the one hand, the words do offer a little bit of solace. Because, sure, maybe it's not about me, and maybe it is all about Noah and whatever it was that he was going through. On the other hand, I can't excuse what he did. I can't make excuses for him. I can't allow other people to make excuses for him. [02:17:51] Speaker A: And if all goes according to plan, you won't have to. [02:17:56] Speaker B: Fingers crossed. [02:18:01] Speaker A: Turning, then outside. Aisha, you made it sound like you were fleeing the room with great amount of enthusiasm. Yes. [02:18:11] Speaker C: Yeah. There are pieces of people, even people that you love and people that you share bits of your soul with. There are pieces that you don't want to see. Pieces that should have stayed buried. Pieces that should have stayed locked in that fucking suitcase. [02:18:38] Speaker A: Her birthday, when Noah first told you about this cute little girl he'd found, what were your thoughts? [02:19:08] Speaker C: I was surprised. I mean, Noah had always been, like, the charming one of the two of us. I was always too blunt, too brusque. Um, but sure, fine. He's growing up, doing his own thing. That's what happens, right? That's natural. That's how people grow and develop into. Well, people. [02:19:50] Speaker A: Seemed like he did a lot of growing. Yeah. I apologize. That was rude of me. Is that what made it hurt, though? Was it the fact that he needed less of you because he had her? Or was it the reason. Because there's a difference between Aisha. She understands me and Aisha. She makes me come in ways that make me see stars. It's one thing to be put aside, because that heart to heart connection you have is being replaced. And it's another but equally awful thing to know that it's the heart to heart connection that is no longer necessary, because a biological connection of a different kind is taking place. [02:20:58] Speaker C: There are different kinds of love. It's even spoken of in the Bible. [02:21:09] Speaker A: It's. [02:21:12] Speaker C: Platonic love and romantic love and. And familial love. It's all different. And different people offer different things for the ones that they love. [02:21:35] Speaker A: You sure, not forgetting the fourth one, because there was nothing about those pictures that looked platonic, romantic, or familial. But that anger is what's going to carry you out of the room, through the door, I'm sure. With a cacophonous noise. That's the kind of that rattles the lights and subway tunnels and certainly enough to announce to Aiden that you have exited the building. Aiden? [02:22:14] Speaker C: I'm pretty sure I end up going past Aiden. [02:22:22] Speaker D: So I'm guessing we didn't find Noah in there, did we? [02:22:28] Speaker C: No shit, Sherlock. [02:22:30] Speaker A: Hmm. [02:22:31] Speaker D: No, people say that. I think Sherlock shits way more than people give him credit for. So I stand up slowly from the stairs that I was sitting on. Well, you strike me as a very intelligent and very assertive young woman if you had to go solve this little conundrum. Or, speaking of shit and sherlocks, a good old mystery, where'd you take us next? [02:23:07] Speaker C: I don't know. You're the one that kept dragging my brother around. [02:23:10] Speaker D: Mm. [02:23:10] Speaker A: You're right. [02:23:11] Speaker D: You did. I did. Did I ever tell you about a girl he met once or twice out here after the breakup? Of course. With the exact. [02:23:29] Speaker C: No. Didn't even realize that they'd split. [02:23:34] Speaker D: I'm sorry. You deserve to hear more from him. Well, I don't know what everyone else is gonna say, but I may have found a lead in some texts. I've been texting all day trying to connect with someone that, you know, your friend or your brother was very friendly with. And, I mean, if the ex can hold it together for five minutes, it might be beneficial. But then again, I wasn't in there. But judging from your very valid energy, I don't think she was very helpful for the investigation, I'm guessing. [02:24:17] Speaker A: Hmm. [02:24:19] Speaker C: That's one way of putting it. What? What the fuck did you get him up to? [02:24:38] Speaker D: He asked questions. I showed him the answers. Everything else was all him. [02:24:50] Speaker C: He's. He's a good kid from a halfway decent family. Like, yeah, dad's a son of a bitch. [02:24:57] Speaker D: But, Aisha, we can either find fault or find Noah, and I guarantee you our energies are better put on him. [02:25:19] Speaker A: The last time you saw Noah, he was making out with two women at once at a party. And you don't remember who those women are? Not sure even got their name. But you do remember the host. And I'm willing to bet that Kendall, if not taken there directly, would be able to find out the store that sold those toys. Those are two leads that we can pursue, but not this evening. Whatever you expected when you went into that cramped, quiet, dilapidated pink room, this wasn't it. And what has gone from a last ditch effort to skip past the police and find a missing person has instead led to threats against your life, exposure to the worst parts of a family member, connections to things that you've forgotten and for a good reason. And things you can't forget for a bad one. My name is Aaron, and I have been your game master for this first episode of Downfall, a scenario from the screams and whispers book for cult divinity lost. Oh, boy. Going to give the cast here who have been wonderful. This was the part where we would all applaud if we were live. Let you connect yourselves a little bit before we go through the process of telling people where they can find you. As Kendall, swallowing back her rage, doing her best to appear on the level failing in ways that this game tends to make people, people fail. It has been v. V. If people would like to see you with less suffering, where can they find you? [02:27:37] Speaker B: Nowhere on anything queens court games does, that's for damn sure. You put me through the wringer pretty much all the time. But if you'd like to see. I don't know if you'd like to keep up with my tweets, which generally are slightly happier or more adhd focused, or sometimes pictures of my dog, who is adorable, you can find me on Twitter veasforvampire because my name is Vy and I like vampires. [02:28:05] Speaker A: And first timer to the cult experience, another QCG regular. Not only do you have to play this game and live it, but you're also going to have to promote it, because if you don't like, I'm sure as hell not very good at it. As Noah's twin sister, Aisha. Laura Tutu. Laura. [02:28:24] Speaker C: Hi, I'm Laura. Or Tutu. Or Laura Tutu. [02:28:31] Speaker B: Yeah. [02:28:31] Speaker E: No. [02:28:32] Speaker C: Most of the shit that I'm gonna be playing with Queen's current games is not gonna be particularly happy. It's either this or I'm playing a broken hearted gang girl vampire in the all night society with some of these fuckers. I'm gonna be swearing a lot to get through this. Sorry, y'all. [02:28:50] Speaker A: Let it out. It's good. [02:28:54] Speaker C: If you want to see me be a chaotic piece of shit on Twitter, you can find me at Laura Underscore 22. If you want to see me be a chaotic piece of shit on either Instagram or the tikama talks. I should probably start filming for TikTok again. You can find me at underscore Laura. Two. Two underscore. Because somebody already has Laura Tutu. Cause that's just how the cookie fucking crumbles. You will also be able to see me hanging out with the folks at Obsidian brews. I'm pretty sure I'm gonna go to dragon con with them. [02:29:25] Speaker B: I don't know. [02:29:26] Speaker C: We'll see if the financials work out. Cause cons are expensive, and at some point along the line, the crimson fox tavern will be live on Twitch, where you can explore my very dear friend cleric on duty's homebrewed feywild, in which we are trying to stop the lord of the hunt from literally tearing everything to pieces. Because the hunt never stops. Other than that, yeah, I'm here with these lovely humans slowly getting over my fear of horror games. [02:29:59] Speaker A: You're doing great so far. I have to say that everyone did incredibly well. It's a tough game. Leaves a lot for you to, like, act your way into. But the performances have been stellar, and if the people in chat do not love it, I will find out where each and every one of you live and kick you in the shins. I will enlist in this endeavor all the way from Nat 20 productions. We go there so we can be happy. He comes here so he can be sad. It's our emotion exchange program between Queen's court games and Nat 20. PJ McGaw, how are you doing? Aidan's. Aidan has a lot going on. [02:30:32] Speaker D: Aiden is an interesting character to try and get in the head of, to say the least. We'll talk about all that afterwards. Until then, my name is PJ McGaw. You can find me all over the Internet at PJ McGaw, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. I think on Instagram, it's technically McGaugh still getting the search. And you can also find me as a GM over at Nat 21 Productions. You can also find us at Nat 20 Productions on Twitter. And just better everywhere else on the Internet, naturally. Productions official of course, on Twitch, we're gonna be having our edge of Legend show. We're just about wrapping up season two. Hopefully by the time you all get to see this, who knows? But go ahead and check us out over there. A lot of awesome projects over there. And over here and over there, a lot of things going on. And until then, I think. I think Laura said it best. I'm a fucker. So thank you so much, everyone. [02:31:31] Speaker A: Yes. And then lastly, but absolutely not leastly, first time to our table, first time streaming rpg's, as Professor Francis Wilmot. Who killed it? Joshua Pangborn. Now, Josh, you are new to our audience, so you can throw out your socials, of course. But before that, tell us a little bit more about who you are as a creator, what you do. Give us the picture. [02:31:52] Speaker E: Absolutely. Well, when I am not doing creepy things with possible students and all that, I am actually the founder of Sidekick Productions, which is a queer, fat, positive production company focused on film and television. I do a lot of horror and horror themed and horror adjacent things so this was a natural fit for me. And oddly enough, one of my shows is Demon Doctor. I play a professor. So there we go. Very easy for me to slide into that, although less creepy. But that's okay. You can find me on the socials at sidekickproductions on Instagram, sidekick productions on YouTube, and Sidekick prod, because there were limits on how many characters you could have on Twitter. So psychic productions, YouTube, Instagram, and psychic prod on Twitter. And also I do Twitch sidekick productions, but we don't really do much in there. And then TikTok, you can also find us on TikTok at Psychic Productions. But if you want to watch five seasons of a queer fat positive soap opera, or now two seasons. Cause Demon Doctor season two is coming out right now of a horror comedy nineties homage series, a cross between Buffy and the X Files, then, but very clear and very fat positive, then check out Demon Doctor on YouTube. And then we also have a couple other shorts on there and everything you can check out. [02:33:22] Speaker A: And then are we allowed to talk about the feature? [02:33:26] Speaker E: I mean, coming soon is our first feature film, possibly the world's first queer fat positive horror feature film called a Taste of Youth. And I am the writer, director, producer, editor, co star of the film. I was lucky enough not to have to actually be behind the camera on this one as well. Some of the things that we do, I actually wear that hat as well. So it's very fun to set the scene, then run into it, and then it's. I'm very familiar with what Queen's court does because they also understand having a limited set of resources and doing the most you can with them, which is why I have fallen in love with them already. [02:34:04] Speaker A: So I think, I don't want to speak for V entirely, but I think we fell in love with Josh's work at New Jersey Webfest because it is so authentically and purely of itself. It is made buy in for an audience with no marketing equivocation, no holds barred. It is just so heartfelt and honest. So if you are interested in any of the things, any of the words that Josh has used to describe the project, like go and absolutely find it on his channels, but also, you can watch ours because we're not going to shut the hell up about it when it comes out. We've been able to see bits and pieces of a taste for youth, and it is so good. [02:34:43] Speaker E: Oh, and also, I can't even forget. I mean, in a month and a half, we will have a special guest star doing a voiceover role in a demon Doctor episode and she might be in this stream right now. So. So if you want to support V and see the crossover between Queen's court and psychic productions already happening, then that'll be demon Doctor in two months. [02:35:05] Speaker B: So I'm so excited. [02:35:08] Speaker A: I'm sure v will announce that and we will as well. These people are wonderful. I'm so glad they let me put them through this. If you want to hear me live tweeting about how good it feels to do so, you can find me at Aaron in words on Twitter and literally nowhere else because social media is kinda eh for me and I agreed to one, they each got one and I'm doing very nice with my one and any more I would find overwhelming. If you would like to find out more about Queen's Court games projects Queen's Court games merchandise, Queen's Court games Patreon, funny things Queens court games does or retweets about projects like Josh, I sort of sorry, I almost called you Francis. Like Josh, like PJ. You can find all of that at Queenscourt RPG on Twitter or Queenscourt games on Facebook and the other sources. We'll be happy to find you there. Special thanks to our Duke Tier patrons, Callie, Mark, and Ben. Special thanks to our newest patron, Matpen, for making this possible. If you would like to wander on over to our patron that is patreon.com queenscourtgames, where I think we may probably have actually a back to scenes episode back or behind the scenes episode discussing this series after it comes out. But failing that, you can go there and see behind the scenes for the other productions that we're doing. You can see amazing art from V. Special bonus games from us that nobody else gets to see because like Aidan, we believe in the powers of privilege and money and you should be allowed to have some. All of that is available for you there. You will be able to see the next episode of Downfall same time next week, 3 hours ago here on Queen's core games, Twitch, YouTube, or your favorite podcast app. Until then, I have been Aaron with V Lock, Laura Tutu, PJ maggot, Joshua Pengborn bye for nowhere.